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A MAMA'S LETTER TO HER SON
Author Unknown

NOTE: The paper I got this from was titled:
"A Letter from A Western Carolina Mama to her Western Carolina Son".
The problem here is there is no Western Carolina, only North & South. Even though South Carolina would sound OK, I will use West Virginia because some people seem to expect these sort of things from good old WV. It is almost heaven you know.

(Errors are included mostly on purpose.)

A LETTER FROM A WEST VIRGINIA MAMA TO HER WEST VIRGINIA SON

Dear Son,

I'm writing this real slow cause i know you can't read very fast.

We don't live where we did when you left, Your daddy read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of our house, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you that address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the numbers of the house with them so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine, The first day I put 4 shirts in, pulled the chain and I ain't see 'em since.

You know the coat you wanted me to send you? Well, Aunt Sue said it would be too heavy to mail with the heavy buttons on it, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

And your sister had a baby this morning, I ain't heard if it's a boy or a girl so I don't know if you're an uncle or aunt.

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up. One was driving and the other two was in the back. The driver got out, he rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned, They couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much news this time, Nothing much happened.

Love,
Mama

p.s. Your Uncle Bob is worried about catching AIDS, so he bought himself a condominium.


Story Origin/Inspiration: This is another author unknown. This one came to me when I was working at Juvenile Sales, Inc. "The Toy Place" (I worked there from July 1986 to September 1992). It was faxed to the store from I guess one of the other stores in the chain. The Head cashier made copies.

Y'all come back now 'cheer,
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All Rights Reserved.
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