One day I went to City Hall to get a dog license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too." Then I said, "But this is a dog!" And he said he didn't care how she looked! Then I said, ""You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was two years old!" He replied, "You must have been a very strong Boy!"

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him that everyone coming to the wedding would enjoy having Sex there... The next day we were married in front of the Justice of the Peace, And my family is banned from that church.